The FreeBSD Diary

At the recent at the recent ITECD conference, the United Nations delegates determined that the BSDs must unite in order to provide a single best platform for use in third-world countries, and dispatched negotiators to each of the project leads, resulting in the new FretBSD Project. The members of the FreeBSD and NetBSD teams have joined in whole-heartedly, with both present and past members giving it their blessing.

"Now that us old geezers are out of the way, the BSD projects can reunify like they should have done years ago" said Jordan Hubbard, a long time player involved in FreeBSD from the start, but now moved onto other projects. "I understand that they're going to be implementing a new installer and packaging system, so I'm content."

Luke Mewburn, previous NetBSD core team member, said he was keen to help with the merger: "FreeBSD was already using the NetBSD FTP daemon, our rc.d system, and our Cardbus support. This was inevitable, really."

Perry Metzger, ex-NetBSD developer with Wasabi Systems, said: "This is what we've been waiting for! It'll give us access to more developers and users! Could you please take the electrodes off now?" Mr. Metzger will be doing his future FretBSD work from the lowest level of the maximum-security United States prison camp in Guatanamo Bay, with a 24x7 armed guard to ensure his safety.

Theo de Raadt could not be reached for comment. While Theo's home has been surrounded, UN peacekeeper troops have yet to storm the building and heavy casualties have been reported in the surrounding countryside. UN spokesmen insist that the siege is going according to plan, however, and Theo is expected to be available for integration in the new combined BSD at some date in late 2023. Of the two hundred eighty-nine casualties suffered by the UN troops at this time, the commanding officer insists that they were caused by a rampaging Canadian moose. Daniel Hartmeier, previously of the OpenBSD Project, insists that OpenBSD has no weapons of moose destruction.

Within a week, all mailing lists and Web servers for the legacy NetBSD and FreeBSD projects will be terminated. The mailing list for the new combined project will be hosted from the United Nations datacenter on a Microsoft Exchange server. As UN monitors will be moderating the mailing lists to prevent disagreements and divisive arguments before they begin, this system is expected to be adequate for the load.

The biggest controversy seems to be the selection of a new logo, which has stirred much debate within the new FretBSD community. While the BSD Daemon will remain, it's just a matter of changing his sneakers. Kris Kennaway, ex-FreeBSD Ports Cluster administrator, said : "We need to change those sneakers. Why do you think they're green anyway? Purple is a much superior color".

In a rather disturbing vein, Greg Lehey has disappeared. Confirmed rumors continue to circulate that he has set up a rogue CVS and mail server somewhere in Tasmania. Similar rumors surround the disappearance of Christos Zoulas have not been substantiated but we have been unable to contact him.

This actually fits me rather well because the UN has hired me to be their advocacy representative. It couldn't have come at a better time because I've been out of work since July. I start with them in three weeks time.

Although I've spent the weekend trying to get a copy of FretBSD, their ftp server has been swamped. But I have heard good things from people who have gotten through. They've managed to install FretBSD on their Sinclair ZX80 and one person got their Colecovision running. The speed was pretty slow compared to their PIII, but at least they had one OS on all their boxes.

I must attribute blame, where blame is due.

I did not write this on my own. I have to implicate my fellow conspirator, Michael Lucas. He came up with the idea, and we wrote it together (but he did quite a bit of it). And Gregory Sutter for posting it on Daemon News.

Of note, I did get a phone call and an email from a new site asking if the story was real, and where he could get confirmation of the story. I won't name the site, but it wasn't CNN.

Yes, I registered the FretBSD domain, and put up the website (now released, and taken up by someone else). But, for humour value, I have duplicated the website here.